A 41 year old Pennsylvania man was take into custody today, alleged to be the man variously described as "The Swiss Cheese Pervert" and "Swiss Cheese Masturbator." Christopher Pagano is accused of having a rather strange paraphilia. He allegedly would drive around with either no pants or his pants pulled down, with a piece of Swiss cheese in his hands. That would be strange enough, but Pagano then has allegedly proceeded to offer female pedestrians money to masturbate him with the Swiss cheese.
People are often surprised when I tell them that there is more crime per square foot at America's Wal-Marts than in the worst inner-city ghettos. Of course, the reason for the high crime rate at Wal-Mart is due to retail thefts, credit card/ access device fraud, bad checks, forgery and theft by deception in the form of fraudulent returns. While these are the usual crimes one would expect at a mega-retailer, one does not expect to encounter a semen-throwing mad man!
On two separate occasions this year, a man defecated at the Springettsbury Post Office in York County, PA. The first time he defecated in the lobby, while the second time, he defecated on the sidewalk next to the post office. It goes without saying that such behavior is almost always associated with either mental illness or a high degree of intoxication. Given the fact that these incidents occurred during the day and on repeated occasions at the same location, it comes as no surprise that the suspect is mentally ill.