A 21 year-old, Pennsylvania man has been charged with a non-residential burglary and sexual intercourse with an animal following an August 16, 2016, incident in Lancaster County. Ephrata Police allege that Travis Wagner entered a barn with the intent of committing a crime therein. Usually, theft is the crime intended to be committed when a person unlawfully enters a building and is charged with burglary. But in this case, the only thing allegedly stolen was the poor miniature horse's dignity and innocence.
Pennsylvania House Bill 262, introduced earlier this year by Representative Matt Baker of Tioga County, seeks to drastically expand regulations of "adult establishments" promulgated by Section 5501 et. seq. of Title 68 of the Pennsylvania Consolidated Statutes. The media has characterized this bill as a "stripper registration" legislation, but it would actually do much more than create a stripper registry. In fact, it appears that the true purpose of the bill is to make it illegal for strip clubs to effectively operate, and thus, regulate them out of existence. Similar "trap laws" have been introduced in other states to impose a de facto ban on abortion, while not running afoul of Roe v. Wade by explicitly banning a constitutionally protected right.
Earlier this week, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court declared Pennsylvania's school zone mandatory minimum sentence for drug offenses to be unconstitutional in the case of Commonwealth v. Hopkins. This affirmed an earlier Pennsylvania Superior Court decision in Commonwealth v. Bizzel, which had already declared the school zone mandatory minimum to be unconstitutional in 2014. The highly-criticized school zone mandatory created a two to four year mandatory minimum sentence for any drug felony occurring within 1,000 feet of the real property line of any school or university. In densely populated areas, or college towns like State College, entire communities were "school zones."
If a marijuana dispensary or brothel opened up anywhere in Pennsylvania, complete with a tacky neon sign, the place would be shut down within hours, and the owners and employees would all face criminal charges. Yet for some reason, law enforcement looks the other way when it comes to the criminal bullshit-artists known as psychics, astrologers and fortunetellers. Fortunetelling, which is defined under Pennsylvania law as engaging in the likes of astrology, soothsaying or predicting the future for compensation, is a third degree misdemeanor punishable by up to one year incarceration and a $2,500 fine. Psychics and astrologers who con people out of substantial amounts of money could face more serious theft by deception charges, which could even be graded as a felony, if the gullible victim is bilked out of more than $2,000.
A Pennsylvania teen is accused of receiving stolen property in a very unique manner. Hanover Police allege that 18 year old Christopher Scheller managed to conceal four stolen bracelets, 11 stolen rings, a metal smoking device and synthetic marijuana in his rectum, which may every well defy everything physicians had known about human anatomy and physicists had known about the space time continuum.